the days of preparing

This week I made a big milestone, I weigh a WHOLE POUND! I'm 8-9 inches long and about the size of a spaghetti squash or a papaya. Mama says that I'm 22 weeks old but she is already feeling pretty big and hopefully I will keep growing but she won't grow too fast.  This week I can hear better and my sense of touch is also finished developing so I am feeling all the things in here that I can to figure out where I am! Mama says everyone loved getting to see me in a picture she posted this week.

Maybe I should be a referee when I grow up, cause I look pretty good in stripes!

This week Mama and Daddy started going to a class to learn about how I will come into the world.  Our teacher is really nice and she is showing Mama lots of stretches and exercises that will help get me ready.  She is also helping us know what to eat and how to relax and how to sleep better.  Mama got a giant new body pillow this week that is bigger than she is, but it helps us sleep and it is fun to hug.  Daddy is going to be our coach when we get to delivery and Mama says he is already doing a great job of taking care of us.  Sometimes he rubs our back before we go to sleep and he carries things that are too heavy for us.  He also tells me good morning and rubs and talks through Mama's belly to me.  He tells me he loves me, tells me things that we will do together when I come out, and tells me things I need to learn.  Soon he says he will play music too, but right now I can hear inside Mama better than outside.

This week I was flipping around and kicking a lot and I got to kick Daddy for the first time! I kicked as hard as I could and he felt me and it was so exciting.

Emsley Taylor Howard was born on 6/19/15 by C-section, and Mama and Daddy and I went to see her in the hospital this weekend.  She is so tiny and she likes to stare at us and suck on her bottom lip and she hardly cries at all. She is soooooo cute! Mama says we are going to be great friends once I am born, even though she is older than me.

Mama says it's amazing after watching Emsley grow that now we can see her and she is a totally unique person (even though she looks just like her Mama).  It's strange that she has been living with us for many months but we can only start knowing her and seeing who she is now.  Mama says that she is even more ready to meet me after seeing her...but she also says I have to stay inside and keep growing for a good long while before I can come out.  I hope the time flies by.

the days of trying

Everyone keeps asking what my name will be.  Mama says a name is a very important thing, and its a very big decision.  Mama and Daddy have been talking about different names a lot the last few weeks. They like to try one out and say it a lot for a few days, and then they move on to another one.  A lot of the names Daddy likes Mama thinks sound strange or not like me (or not like her).  A lot of the names Mama likes Daddy says are the same as students that were bad in his class.  They are also trying to decide if I should have names from our relatives in my name or if my name should be totally unique.  Deciding is hard, but Mama says trying out and agreeing about a few options is even harder.  Last week the best name that Mama and Daddy could agree on was Buzz Lightyear-Volcano-Hurricane Higgins.  Daddy says since he sings songs and my Mama will give my friends physicals for a living, I will need a big, strong, manly name so I don't get made fun of on the playground.  Do you think kids will make fun of me for having the nick-name "Volcano"?

Grandma and Grandpa Holmes have been calling me "little chooch's little chooch" because when Mama was in Grandma's tummy they called her "little chooch" because her heart beat sounded like a train. Daddy and Mama have been calling me "little man" and "little tiger" and "baby boy" and sometimes "sweet pea" too.  Uncle Jon called me "limey" when I was smaller because that's how big I am, but lately he has been threatening to call me "volleyballey."  Mama's boss, Greg, calls me "Matthew Gregory" because he thinks that's what my name should be and he says that's what Mama and Daddy will decide eventually.  It seems like no one can tell who I am!

This week Mama and Daddy started looking at all the things they will need to buy for me.  They were very excited to try out some strollers, but when they got to the store they could not figure out how to get a lot of them open and closed again.  One lady in the store passed by and saw Mama and Daddy laughing and trying so hard to work a stroller and she said "maybe that one isn't for you..."  Mama says baby things make her feel silly.  Daddy says maybe we don't need so many things after all if we can't even work them.  Mama says that baby things are too smart for Mamas and Daddies to figure out without a lot of tries.

Daddy and Pastor Jon started to design a crib for me this week too...Daddy says that cool babies get to sleep in their Daddy's bass drums because they are the perfect size and cribs are too expensive.  Mama isn't sure about whether the drum will work but Daddy says I will love it.

Some of Mama's friends are starting to plan a party to welcome me into the world. They won't tell Mama about it but she says it makes her feel very special, and it makes me very special too!

This week I am getting bigger and starting to get fat underneath my skin...that means my skin won't be see through much longer!  I am making my own blood cells from my bone marrow so I don't have to use all of Mama's blood.  I am also able to taste all the foods that Mama is putting in her body because my taste buds are coming in! All of the fluid around me changes from pizza to salad to stir fry to Chinese food.  I think food must be very yummy when I can taste all of it. I kick Mama a lot when she eats Chinese because it tastes my favorite.

A lot of people ask Mama if she is having cravings, because apparently a lot of mamas do.  Mama wants ice cream and ice pops all the time, but she says that is how she is when a baby is not in her tummy too, so she isn't sure that counts.  It is getting hot out so she usually needs to be eating or drinking something cold, and she is swimming in the pool with Aunt Maddie whenever she can and sitting under the air conditioner when she can't.

This week I am 21 weeks old.  I am the size of a big banana or a baby bok choy (about 9-10 inches long and about 10-12 oz)!  Mama says my kicks are so strong they surprise her sometimes, but so far Daddy hasn't been able to feel me.  I am growing my legs bigger so that I can kick him soon! Mama also says that I need to turn upside-down soon so that I'll be in the right position to come out.  But I can't tell what way is right and what way is wrong! It is very dark in here.  Luckily I have some time to try out all the ways I can sit.

Mama is researching all about classes for she and Daddy to take.  The classes will help them know what is coming when I am born and will help them know how to be the best team to help me be born.  Picking classes is confusing and a little strange, Mama says.  How do you know what class is best until you try it?

There are so many questions, but there is also lots of time to keep trying things out.  Some day we will have to make decisions, but this week seems to be for trial and error and dreaming and failing and realizing we won't always know the best things to do.  It's good that we have each other to try and learn together.

the days of hearing

This week I am 20 weeks old, and we are half way through my growing! I am the size of a large mango or a banana (about 6-7 inches long and 10 ounces).  Everyone on the internets wants to make me into a fruit, but I don't know if a banana and a mango are the same size.  I just know that I am growing big! 

Mama keeps ordering more and more clothes on the internets too, and she says she hopes her next package gets here soon because working is not very comfortable in her old uniform anymore.  She is afraid she might be very, very big by the time I come out because she already feels big.  As often as we can we go for walks or do pilates or stretching together because it feels good and helps us feel strong.  Sometimes Mama likes to talk to me while we walk and tell me all the things we are passing by.  I get to see them some day soon.  

Baby Emsley is due to come any day and so Mama is helping Aunt Maddie get all ready and is learning a lot about all the things we will need in another few months.  Mama says Aunt Maddie is very brave and very excited to meet her little girl.  Mama and I will hopefully get to be in the room when Emsley comes and we are so excited!  While we wait, it seems like all Mama and Aunt Maddie talk about is baby clothes and baby baths and baby sleeping and scary words like "contraction" and "effacement" and "episiotomy." I think Emsley will be much less scary when she finally gets here.  

Mama and I are talking a lot more now, she can feel me kick all through the day (especially if she accidentally squishes me) and I can hear her talk to me now! She says pretty soon I'll be able to hear Daddy and people on the outside too.  She says Daddy is planning all sorts of music to play me through her tummy so that when I come out I will already know all of his favorite songs.  I think Daddy likes music.  I think I will like listening. 

Mama says she is learning a lot about listening too these last few weeks.  She says that when God is trying to say something it is hard to hear, because the world is loud and because our minds are afraid and because God doesn't use normal words sometimes to talk to us.  She says that sometimes the big words come in quiet places and they are hard to see.  She says that sometimes we have to wait with our eyes on just the right place to finally see what we need to know.  God has big plans, and big vision, and all the strength to help us get to the right place...but sometimes its scary to find out where you are going.  Mama and Daddy have been praying a lot about the next right place. 

What we are listening to today: 

God I Look To You